Parole Package

Photo by Ali Naderi on Pexels.com

This post is a revision of one I posted back in 2014. A few things have changed, but the basic premise of a parole package is the same. A parole packet helps the parole board to understand what kind of support – financial, emotional, and spiritual – a prison inmate would have if he or she is to be granted parole.

If an inmate is up for parole a parole package may help the board have information that might help with their decision. Just sending the package may show them he or she is positive and wants to be paroled. It shows incentive on their part. Be sure to check with authorities in the inmates prison as to how they want the package presented: by mail or email. If an inmate is presenting his or her own package they may need to send it through the system or by mail.

This is an excerpt from Jorge Antonio Renaud a formerly incarcerated person

Getting ready for parole should start much earlier than your first eligibility date. I believe that readying yourself to be free and becoming free and staying free entail a certain point of view, a way of looking at life
that perhaps you haven’t considered. My philosophy will run through everything I say in this guide, and
that philosophy is that you must change in prison, and you must change NOT because you want to make
parole and NOT because you’ve seen what being in prison does to your family, but because it is the right
thing to do. If you change for that reason, that change will permeate your life. That change will be obvious
to everyone, especially to the Board. It will make the Board much more willing to let you go home. And it
will make you much more likely to stay out and become one of the formerly incarcerated individuals who
doesn’t return to prison.

The Parole Package should contain:

1st page- Cover Letter, Be sure you put: “Parole Review Plan” Inmate’s Name and Inmate’s Federal or State Number, centered on page.

Pg 2. Table Of Contents

Table of Contents (What is in the Package)

Section 1: The Game Plan / Parole Plan
The Parole Release Plan including goal statements
Housing Confirmation
Transportation Confirmation

Section 2: Letter From Inmate (Inmates Name)
(Inmate Name)’s Letter of Penance / Regret / Apology asking for parole

Section 3: Support Letters
Letter of Support from (Significant Other’s Name)
Letter of Support from (Their Mother and/or Father’s Name, Their Sister’s/brother’s or friend’s Name)
Letter of Support from (Their Minister / Spiritual Leader’s Name)

Letter of Support from any other entity, particularly one who might be willing to employ inmate.

Section 4: Community Resources
Job Resource Site
Church Group
Area Narcotics Anonymous Schedule
Alcoholics Anonymous Schedule

Section 5: Pictures
Pictures of (Inmates Name) These should not be photos while incarcerated
Pictures of Where He / She Will Live if available

Section 6: Educational History

Copies or transcripts of all education pursued, awards and certificates earned while incarcerated ( They may already have this)

Section 7: Past Outside Employment / Current Employment if employed in the prison system

SAMPLES OF WHAT TO INCLUDE

Page 1 of section 1

(Inmates Full Name)
TDCJ# 153XXXX

Parole Release Plan
Prepared by: (My name) (or inmate’s name)
At the request of: (Inmates Name)

Opening Statement: (Inmates Name) has served nearly XX years calendar time and accrued additional good time on his/her XX year sentence. This is his/her XXXX time in prison, and all his/her past offenses have been drug related. (Inmate) acknowledges that his/her poor decisions have placed him/her where he/she is and is remorseful for the impact those choices have had on his/her family and others. He/she has spent his/her time behind bars furthering his/her education, reconnecting with the God of his/her understanding, and learning work skills and tools to effectively handle his/her addiction. Today, (Inmate) has plans for a better future and desires the opportunity to become a productive, contributing member of society. If given the opportunity to parole, (Inmate) has a plan in place to ensure a successful transition back into the free world. This Parole Release Plan will outline the details.

Personal Statistics:
Date of Birth:      Age:       Race:        Sex:
Height:      Weight:     Hair Color:     Eyes:
Marital Status:      Children:
Siblings:      Place of Birth:

Last Place  of Residence:

DOC/ FEDERAL/ STATE Offense and Sentence Information: (The parole office may have this information and may not be necessary to include)
Significant Controlling Offense:
Offense Category:
County of Offense: Date of Offense:
Felony Level:  Case/Cause #:
Original Parole Eligibility Date:  Outcome:
Max Discharge Date:
Listed Projected Release Date*:
Time Served in*:

Statistics for Offenders with Same Offense of XXXXX:
With the same offense: XXXX Offenders Avg Term w/ same offense: XX Years
Max Term w/ same offense: XX Years Min Term w/ same offense: 0 Years
Avg Time Spent: XXX Years Avg % of Time Spent to Term: XX.XX%

Where Does Parolee Plan to Reside? He/she will reside in XXXXX located at (Street Address) (City), (State) in County. See Housing Confirmation for details of property.

Will There Be Minor Children in the Residence? . Yes / No Description of:

Is There an Alternate Place Parolee Can Reside If Needed? Does Parolee Have a High School Diploma? (Inmate) has completed classes for and earned his GED while in the Custody of XXXX.

What Classes and Personal Improvement Activities Has Parolee Participated In While Incarcerated? In addition to completing his/her GED, (Inmate) has taken substance abuse classes, participated in AA meetings while in XXXX, gathered information on College classes from XXXX University.  He/she is also currently attending XXXX.

Does Parolee Have a Trade or Skill to assist in obtaining employment? (Inmate) has previous experience in XXXXX.
What Employment Opportunities Does Parolee Have or Plan To Pursue? (Inmate) prefers to find a job in (City), where he/she will be living. The job market is strong in XX City.  (Inmate) has been offered an opportunity to work with XXXXX in XXXXXX.

How Will Family Members Be Participating or Available To Assist in the Parolee’s Release Plan? (Inmate) has a very supportive family. His/her mother, who visits him/her regularly and currently puts money on his/her books every month, will continue to help financially support her son/daughter, spend time with him/her, and ensure his/her needs are met. (Inmate) also has a very supportive close family friend, (My Name), who has known him/her for XX years that, in addition to housing and transportation, will provide (Inmate) with emotional and moral support as well as food and clothing.

What Other Activities and Organizations Does Parolee Plan on Attending or Participating In? (Inmate) will be attending XXXX XXXXXX Church in (City). In addition to weekend services, they have a very active XXXX group and men’s/ women’s group for men/ women in their XXs. (Inmate) will also be attending 12 step meetings, such as AA, NA, and Celebrate Recovery in (City) and (Another City) at a minimum of 3-4 times a week. Also, as mentioned earlier, (Inmate) would like to attend Job Skills Classes at XXXX County Job Corp or pursue a degree at an accredited college.

Brief Description of Parolee’s Future Goals: (Inmate) looks forward to redeveloping a relationship with XXXXX family members and continuing to develop even stronger relationships with XXXXX. He/she plans to find a job so he/she can pay child support and provide for himself/herself. By working hard and continually developing his/her skills, he/she plans to continue to find better and better opportunities as time passes. Eventually he/she would like to pursue a degree in counseling and start a career as a substance abuse counselor, where he/she can take his/her experiences and the lessons he’s/she’s learned while in XXXXX and using it to help others make better decisions with their lives than those he/she made in the past.

Closing Comments: (Inmate) has grown a lot as a person and turned his/her life around during his/her time in XXXX. He/she would be very grateful for the opportunity to rejoin society and be there for his/her family and for his/her children. He/she has a strong support system that will help keep him/her on the right track as he/she transitions into a new life. (Inmate) is a good person who made some bad decisions in the past, but he/she has learned from them and is ready to move forward. Please allow (inmate) the opportunity to make us all proud by granting his/her parole and sending him/her home. Thank you for your time and your consideration.

Section 3, Support Letters:

Section 3, pg 2

Sample Support Letter

Month,  XX, XXXX

Parole Board Members
Board of Pardons and Parole
P.O. Box

City
State and Zip Code

Attn: (Inmates Name)
# XXXXXXX

Dear Parole Board Members,
My name is (His/her Moms Name). I reside with XXXX at  XXXXXXXX, (city), State, XXXXX. I have lived in XXXXX for most my life. I have worked at XXXXXXXXXX. I attend church every week at XXXXX Church in (City) and actively assist with their youth ministries.

I am the Mother of (Inmate Name), #XXXXXXX.

This is my son’s/daughter’s first time to be incarcerated in prison. I visit (inmate) as often as possible, and correspond regularly. Since incarceration, I have noticed many new, positive changes in his/her life. (Inmate) has accepted full responsibility, and remorse, for his/her actions, and is at peace with himself/herself. I feel he/she is doing all heshe can do to improve his/her life. He/she has completed substance abuse programs, and his/her GED and is attending AA meetings and church meetings as well. A number of the inmates come to (inmate) for spiritual help, and advice. (Inmate) obeys the rules, and has had no discipline problems since his/herincarceration.

As his/her mother, I love (Inmate) very much and I have a willingness to support my son/daughter in every way possible in the event of parole. A family friend has offered him/her housing, transportation to and from work, clothing, some financial help, and support. I will also help out financially, with clothing, advice, love, accountability and emotional support. Everyone involved with (Inmate) cares about him/her deeply and takes his/her reintegration into society very seriously.

I truly believe that my son/daughter has changed for the better. (Inmate) is not a violent person, and he/she would be an asset to his/her family and the community if he/she were to be paroled.
Sincerely,

(Name)
(XXX)-XXX-XXXX

* All statistics regarding Offenders with Sam Offense and Regarding Offense and Sentence Information are from a Customized Parole Review Report prepared by www.parolesource.com. No template was used for the creation of this Parole Release Plan, though lots of time went into researching what information it should contain and lots of communication between the inmate and family took place to put this report together.

THE FOLLOWING IS COPIED FROM TEXAS PAROLE NOW. COM (This contains general information which can be used in any state, however one should always check state regulations for the state the inmate has been sentenced in.)

Preparing a parole package increases the chances of the offender making parole for a number of reasons, but chief among them is that it makes that potential parolee stand out from the rest of them. Since the statistics show that only a few minutes is spent, on average, with each parolee’s file anything which catches the attention of the hearing officer in a positive way would increase their chances. 

The following excerpt, which discusses what we feel is the most important part of the parole packet, is from our book, “How to Prepare a Texas Parole Presentation Package”, available from RebellionBooks.com:

The awarding of parole to an offender often appears to be completely random. Two individuals, each with nearly identical cases and history, can receive wildly different results.

Unfortunately, the decision on who makes parole can be based on something as simple as whether the voting members of the parole board “have a bad day”.

The volume of cases voted on in any given month is tremendous and some estimates are that each file is subjected to an average review of 3-5 minutes.

It is this tremendous volume that makes it so important for the potential parolee to make an effort to distinguish their file (in a good way) from the hundred, or thousands of others under review.

The most important thing that can be done to improve the chances of parole is to influence the basic human nature of the voters by “humanizing” the potential parolee.

“Humanize: 1 a: to represent as human: attribute human qualities to b: to adapt to human nature or use. 2: to make humane.” Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/humanize;

The first way to humanize the potential parolee is through the use of photographs. Typically, the only visual representations of the person contained in the parole file are “mug shots” or photos taken when the offender first enters the prison system. These are taken within hours of their head being shaved (in the case of males) and typically after long periods without sunshine or adequate rest, resulting in a photograph that makes the person look like someone who shouldn’t be allowed to walk the streets.

The example Parole Presentation Package that is part of this e-book has places for a number of photographs, along with captions. The photograph on the cover page should be of the potential parolee alone, and be the best possible photograph you have available. The others in the package should show the person at work or home, interacting with other people including family members. The “caption” below each photo should explain who is in the picture along with what was happening.

Be sure that the photographs do not show anyone, particularly the potential parolee, engaging in or conducting activity the voters may feel is inappropriate. It would not be wise to include photographs of anyone with drug paraphernalia, alcohol, tobacco, or wearing any clothing depicting these. With computers as they are today a few minutes with a software package can remove or cover up any offensive objects. If you don’t feel comfortable doing this yourself, almost any print or copy shop can provide you a reference to an individual or company who can “photo shop” pictures into an acceptable format at a very reasonable cost.

A Note:

People ask us “When is the time to start preparing a parole packet?” Most of you know that a parole packet or a parole presentation package is a collection of documents and pictures sent to the parole board to help them get to know the potential parolee a little better. This is particularly important since most of the time there is not an interview nor does the offender ever meet with an actual member of the parole board who will be voting. Our answer as to when to start is always the same. Immediately.

There are many reasons for this, but the main thing to remember is it is better to have the information and not need it, than to need it and not have it. Many times it takes much longer to get the information together than you would think and people are forced to submit packets without all of the materials. When you are trying for parole in Texas or any where else.

California’s Sensitive Needs Yards

Sensitive Needs Yards (SNY) for inmates who need protection from the general population were implemented back in the 1990s. Unfortunately, inmates on those yards have now begun to from their own gangs and they are no longer safe. Because of this failure, in 2018 California began to reintegrate inmates back into general population in what is called non-designated programs. “Non-Designated Programming Facilities are facilities that house inmates together regardless of their designation (Sensitive Needs Yard (SNY) or General Population (GP)) in order to provide greater access to self-help, educational, vocational and rehabilitative programs.”

There does not seem to be any good answer. Inmates must be rehabilitated to the point where they act and participate in such a way that they learn behaviors they will need when they are released, so they can stay out of prison. The U.S. releases over 7 million people from jail and more than 600,000 people from prison each year. However, recidivism is common. Within 3 years of their release, 2 out of 3 people are rearrested and more than 50% are incarcerated again.

To throw prisoners who need protection back into general population does not seem to be a good answer. On the other hand, the SN yards have become as dangerous as the GP yards. What needs to happen is to throw those who are in the new SNY gangs back into general population and make the SNY safe again. Obviously, the selection for acceptance into SNY may be flawed.

Send me an email about what your suggestions or thoughts about this are.

PRISON VISITS CANCELLED!

I have written about inmates in prison during the holidays for a number of years and how it affects not only the inmate, but the inmate’s family and friends. Nothing has changed about that… even with COVID-19. As a matter of fact, things are worse. With the current spread of the disease, most prisons and jails are not allowing visitors at all. You need to check your federal or state prison or county jail to see if they are allowing visitors.

This situation is extremely stressful and depressing for everyone involved. Yet another year that your loved one is away, locked up and now you can’t visit. Everyone feels the disappointment and grief and wishes things were different.

I don’t have an easy answer for this. All I can say is that you have to make the best of it. Be sure to write or call and try not to convey disappointment. I know you feel it. I was there for many, many years.  I felt the void. I felt the sadness too.

It will end eventually and hopefully the vaccine will be available soon, so you will be able to visit your loved one. Take care and above all, stay safe and follow standard COVID procedures of wearing a mask, washing your hands and social distancing!

SUICIDE AFTER RELEASE

My son has been out of prison now for almost two years. Gee, time has passed quickly for me, but has it for him? I’d like to think so, but I know that is not true. Some of his days and nights, particularly in the beginning just after release, were long. He was not able to sleep, was afraid and anxious most of the time, had a hard time getting used to the outside and in general was up and down depending on the day.

In the first few weeks, it was like he was waiting for them to come and take him back. The only thing that made it easier was that he was across the country from his last incarceration in Florida. Now things are a lot better and I think most of the fear and anxiety are gone. He seems to be a lot more settled and knows he won’t be returning to prison.

According to a recent article in Prison Policy Initiative:

“Reentry is tumultuous and challenging to begin with, and the first two weeks after release are among the most difficult. Previous research has shown that, within those first two weeks, the risk of death from drug overdose, cardiovascular disease, homicide, and suicide is elevated. A 2007 study found that the risk of death in these first two weeks can be up to 12 times higher than that of the general population. Building on that study’s findings, this new North Carolina study finds that the experience of any solitary confinement more than doubles the risk of death for people recently released from prison.

The study identifies two additional factors correlated with a heightened risk of death after release: race and the amount(length and frequency) of solitary confinement. All incarcerated people of color are more likely to die within a year of release, and the experience of solitary confinement only amplifies this racial disparity.”

For families of those just released, please know it is not an easy time for your loved one, and as much as you think he or she should be ecstatic with being home, they may not be. Look for signs of depression, suicidal inclination, drug use or anxiety. Recognize it and help them get through it.

Part 2 – Reentry and the Last Skeleton

This is the second part of our Blogger, Minette’s, description of what happened when her son was released from prison and his journey back into society. 

My son went back to community college to be trained as a welder and get a degree in machine tool technology.  He took to that skill right away.  As a kid, he had remarkably steady hands.  I hoped he would be a surgeon, that boat sure sailed without us.  Years ago, when my son was about 12, we went to an airport and to kill time waiting for our connection, we stopped in a store that said if you solve this puzzle, they will give it to you for free.  It was one of those wooden games where you had to carefully move the container back and forth to get the marbles into the right holes.  You had to have perfect timing and very controlled hand movements to succeed.  Neither I, nor a friend who was with us, could avoid letting the marbles fall into the wrong holes, but my son managed to successfully complete the trial twice.  We only took one free game, too embarrassed to take more.  The saleslady and I were amazed.

He had artistic skills, too.  Combined with the steady hands, he was perfect for welding.  Lucky for him, he also had parents who would pay for school and all the supplies he needed. Lucky for us, it was community college, so not so expensive.  Plus, as he progressed through semesters, he got a Pell Grant to cover some of the cost.

In the welding industry, a criminal record is usually not a hindrance to employment, although it may impact a person’s opportunity to work for or contract with any organization that needs to have security clearances.  This may be overcome after parole is over.

He went to school in the evening, after the canopy work was done.  In class another student saw his work and asked him if he would interview with his employer, a machine fabrication shop.  It was indoors, a major advantage during the Arizona summer, and it offered the opportunity to learn about a variety of equipment.  He went to the company, they gave him a welding test and an interview, and indeed, he got the job.  So after almost two years at the canopy company, he left.  It was on good terms and they said the door was always open if there was a problem.

I was a little concerned about the new company.  Yes, I realized all the advantages, indoors and exactly the kind of work he actually wanted to do, but I was leery about the company ownership. While the company was established in Arizona for decades, it was a recent leveraged buyout, and so often owners like that find a way to substantially reduce costs. I warned him, but he went ahead.

At the shop he started at the bottom, the tools he used the most were the vacuum and broom. But he watched the other guys using the various CNC machines, lathes, lasers, things I knew nothing about. Some people have a knack for learning by watching, not me.  Over the years, his father would ask him to work with him while he fixed something.  His dad was very handy, but he wanted people to do things exactly as he did them.  I found it difficult to work with him because the moment you did something a little different, he would just take over and you would have to watch him.  My son did learn from each of those experiences, I never seemed to.  At the machine shop, he learned more.   But about eight months after he started, the owners decided to move the business to Mexico, almost everyone lost their jobs over the next few months.  He was among the last to go, but this time, he did not find another job.  He continued to go to school and do what he had to, to meet his parole requirements.  That was good.  Luckily for him, a good friend bought a house around this time and it needed renovations.  So, my son stepped in to be the general contractor and do whatever he could on his own. He collected unemployment insurance to cover some of his personal expenses. His friend gave him some money but mostly he gave him rent credit. When the house was finished, my son would be able to move in with him for free for a while.  It amazed me that he knew how to do so many construction jobs. He said he watched YouTube videos and learned.  When he hired someone to do something, he watched.

Sometimes he would pick up small welding jobs too.   We set up a corporation for him, but the jobs seemed few and far between.  He did get jobs from friends he was close with who he met when he was staying sober between age fifteen and eighteen. The organized group aged out at eighteen.  Situations like that create tight bonds. He socialized with this group of friends.  Their lives went on.  They married and started to have children. He stayed involved in their lives.  These were people he trusted. He stayed away from people he did not know, unless someone in this group spoke up for them.  This was his way of being sure he would not get into trouble. He would have long term relationships with some very pretty, sweet girlfriends, but eventually he would break up with them, all normal for a twenty something. I guess I would say he was moving forward with his life very slowly. But forward is the right direction.

Eventually the house was built, and he moved out of our house and into his friend’s house.  It started out with three guys moving in. Each had their own bedroom; my son welded his own bed-frame with attached storage and table surfaces.  It was very impressive.  It was a nice house on five acres.  My son built a chicken coop, sitting benches, a raised bed garden enclosure, and a covered work area for his welding and the third kid’s car repair business.  That twenty-something bought cars at auction, repaired them and resold them.  The kid who owned the house partnered with him and often funded the original purchase. These kids were industrious and enterprising but focused on working for themselves rather than others.  In my son’s case, that may have been the best option.  Despite his getting a job right away when he got out, having a criminal record can hold you back.  We all believed he’d be better off long term being his own boss.

The boys’ schedules were variable. Each one was coming and going from the house depending on if they had a job that day, a class to go to or a car to work on. The vibe at the house was very relaxed. If my son didn’t have a job, he would work in the garden or with the chickens. Every once in a while, my son would bring us fresh eggs.  Eventually the kid that owned the place had his girlfriend move in.  Besides going to school, she ran an adventure club in town, so my son started some serious hiking in the nearby mountains.  He was healthy and fit, and very importantly, clean, but still not making much money.

His luck would change.  Another person he met through his old group of friends asked him to come work for him in a company he had started about five years earlier.  It was a company that made performance metal equipment for trucks.  This was perfect – he loved trucks, he found the equipment they manufactured interesting, they told him he could use their shop for some of his own work if it didn’t interfere with their work. He would handle customer service and work in their shop.  It was very busy at first, most of the staff was concentrating on getting ready for the SEMA show, an annual automotive specialty products trade show in Las Vegas, so they could really use his help.  He was working full time, even some overtime for several months. After the show, things settled down. His hours were reduced.  But it turns out, it was alright.  While he was working greater hours, he was thinking ahead, putting some of his earnings into online advertising for his own welding business, and the advertising actually worked.   His phone started ringing!   He continued to think like a business person and bought equipment and tools to make him more efficient. This is a significant change from someone who was thinking like an addict and a criminal. He believed in his future.

During this time, I would go down to Florida and visit my parents.  Still saying nothing to them.  Just everything was fine, same thing I had been saying for over a decade.  They surmised my son had a drug problem, but not everything else. Now, I could tell them my son was back at school and working and doing well.

While down there, I’d visit with my friend who, throughout all our troubles with my son, kept telling me everything was going to be alright. But that is all she’d say. She’d comfort me, telling me he was a smart kid, it will work out.  But now, after all this – the addiction terrors, the heartbreaking legal trouble, the frightening relapse, the probation, the incarceration, the parole, she told me her secret. She told me when she was a teenager, her brother, who was about ten years older than her, had gone to prison.  We were talking about him because he had died a few months earlier.  He was in his seventies, an early death, but she had kept his secret, the family secret, his whole life. But now she felt it was alright to talk about.  Despite all those times it would have fit perfectly into our conversations about my son, she just couldn’t say it. It happened so many years ago, but like I said in my very first post, before we had this conversation, prison is the last skeleton in the closet to be revealed. I love her, and I hurt for her.

 

WORK PROGRAMS IN PRISON

Another informational post by Minette, our International blogger. This one details work programs available in prisons. I’m familiar with the UNICOR program in South Carolina and Hickman Farms in Arizona. Both are extremely helpful for those who want to work. 

Prisons hire inmates to do much of the work in prison or to make many of the products needed on site.

If someone has a long sentence, and a high school diploma, they are usually assigned a job.  Prisons seem to leave people with sentences under a year alone.  People without a high school diploma or GED are directed to classes.  But others are encouraged to work. Interviewees reported jobs from making state license plates, cabinet making, maintenance work, painting, farm work, warehouse work, kitchen work, laundry, cleaner, landscaping, remodeling construction, cement crew, and teacher’s assistant.  There are hundreds of possibilities.  Jobs may be at the prison, in nearby businesses or in county offices and facilities.

In some prisons, inmates do their own laundry.  In other prisons, it’s a prized job.  It’s kind of a power trip since prisoners do not want to anger the person doing their laundry.  Working in the kitchen is also a sought after job, as are the jobs outside the prison walls.  Most jobs are worked between six and eight hours a day.

Many government entities take advantage of the low cost, continually available labor force that inmates represent.  Using inmate labor saves the agency money and it has the added benefit of providing job training. Prisoners do maintenance and landscaping on government buildings and properties. Often state departments of motor vehicles have prisoners fielding phone calls.  When you call the motor vehicle department, that’s why you get the message do not give the first level respondents any personal information.  Inmates man local fire stations in California, Georgia and other states and across the country they are “hotshots”, fighting out of control forest fires.

Over 12,000 Federal inmates work for UNICOR, a government corporation with over 80 factories in prison facilities.  In 2016, the company reported net income of over $44 million.  Inmates get experience with vehicle repair, printing, manufacturing, and other programs.  The customers are various government entities.  Some states participate with “free world” corporations through the Prison Industry Enhancement Certification Program.  While inmates get paid “free world” comparable salaries by the participating corporations there are sufficient payroll deductions for their room and board, victim compensation funds, family support, and taxes, to keep their income high but in line with what other prisoners earn in the prison, usually under $1 an hour. These jobs enable people who may not have skills to learn a trade, take on responsibilities, learn appropriate employment behavior and business etiquette and fill their time productively.  Upon release, ex-offenders who have gone through these programs often get hired more quickly than their counterparts and tend to hold their outside jobs longer. In some programs the participants are managed by outside corporate managers, in others by Department of Corrections personnel.

Most states have a program like Minnesota’s Minncor, this company reported being in six of the state’s prisons.  They manufacture prison furniture, but they also subcontract with privately owned businesses in the state.  While paid comparable salaries to outside workers, inmates don’t get benefits and they work flexible hours. A company can get American made products without investing in more space.  Minncor has been profitable since 2006, they use some of their profits to offer support (bus passes, additional job training) to released workers for a year.  I agree with Minncor’s website that this arrangement provides training, avoids inmate’s idleness, and reduces both tension in the prisons and recidivism but there are many who think these employment programs are taking advantage of the prisoners because they are forced to work. They consider it akin to slave labor. Based on my understanding of the program, if the employee does not perform to a satisfactory level, the employers will let them go. They can easily replace them with another inmate, eager for something useful to do and more financially rewarding than traditional institutional work.

Arizona has Arizona Correctional Industries.  Inmates are either sent out to work at companies, for example, farms or carpentry factories, or work in facilities on the prison grounds in call centers, workshops, printing facilities, and even a wild horse care and training facility.  Arizona Correctional Industries website makes it clear they don’t want to displace Arizona workers, but they would like to replace jobs that are outsourced to other countries or help a company avoid inconsistent additional shifts and overtime.  In most states, businesses within a state can generally contract with their prison system to use their labor.

Having a job provides funds for the commissary, to visit the nurse, or to build up gate money – funds for when the inmate leaves.  It offers a focus for one’s time in prison and on occasion a sense of accomplishment. It also can fill in a blank on an eventual resume.

STAYING SANE IN PRISON

We’re proud to post another blog note from our internationally known blogger, Minette. It’s an informative look at the program and educational choices available for inmates in some prisons. 

Staying sane while doing your time in prison can be done two ways.  One is to dull your senses enough, so it doesn’t hurt. The other is to make the time worthwhile.

Prisoners creatively make prison hooch or pruno, the prison wine which only requires water, sugar, a vegetable to ferment, prison pants or socks.  Some prisoners become vintners to make a little extra money. A few ex-offenders I interviewed said they made wine. Obviously, an infraction of the rules, prisoners carefully hid it while fermenting.  This provided job opportunities for guards and look outs. But it and drugs are popular among the population because numbing the senses help many prisoners get through the day.

In addition to work, school and meals, many interviewees attended religious services and sobriety meetings. Usually, there was nothing to do to get into these meetings, other than show up, so they were popular.  Regular attendance at these programs along with supporting documentation about an individual’s efforts at introspection and change help at future parole hearings.

Inmates might attend classes led by outside volunteers. Volunteers teach living skills classes, creative writing and poetry classes, acting workshops as well as other programs.  These creative programs are meant to help the prisoner explore and express their own issues that may have contributed to their incarceration as well as take a mental break from the daily confines of the prison. They say you can lock up the body, but the mind can escape at least for a while.  This also makes reading a frequent pass time in prison.

Many of the poetry and writing classes publish the inmates work, adding a sense of tangible accomplishment.  Betweenthebars.org, MarshallProject.org and other organizations allow prisoners to send in their writing, and have it published online.  It’s a way to communicate to the outside world and not feel forgotten.

There is the Path of Freedom program, taught in many prisons, that focuses on meditation and mindfulness to build emotional intelligence.  For those facing a long prison term, it helps them cope by enhancing their ability to stay in the moment and live day by day rather than be overwhelmed by the thought of a long sentence. There are other programs aimed at changing the way prisoners view the world. For example, the Bridges to Life program or the Insight Prison Program.  These programs include interaction with survivors of violent crimes and are intended to create a cathartic experience for both victims and incarcerated participants. Inmates recognize responsibility for their actions, develop empathy, ultimately forgive themselves for what they have done and move forward. Parole reviews can include an assessment of the prisoner’s recognition and acceptance of the damage they did when they completed their crime.  Understanding the impact of crimes on victims and their families is part of the process. This trend toward Restorative Justice started in juvenile courts and schools in order to keep younger people outside of the retribution programs in jails and prisons, and now it has made its way into the prison system.

There are several groups, religious and non religious, like GOGI.org, or Prison S.M.A.R.T. to help prisoners change the way they react and think. These programs are set up for prisoners who want to change their attitude in order to reduce tension on the inside of the prison and reduce recidivism once they are released.  Some other standard programs offered by many states include: Thinking for a Change, Reasoning and Rehabilitation, and Moral Reconation Therapy.

There are classes organized by local colleges or universities where inmates interact with both teachers and students. This promotes a better understanding from both sides of the fence.  Examples of these programs are Prison Education Project in California or Lipscomb Initiative For Education (LIFE) in Tennessee. Attendees at the Life classes cite benefits including increased self-worth and the hope that they will be a positive influence on their families rather than a source of disappointment that attendees sometimes say they feel they are now. They hope potential employers will take into consideration their efforts to gain a college degree while they were in prison. The coordinator of the program also noted that guards saw participants in the program created a positive influence in the general population of the prison. Teachers and outside students saw how receptive the inside students were to the opportunity to learn and interact with them. Outside students and teachers also had the opportunity to see the inside students as real people, not statistics or lost causes. Requirements to participate included a GED or high school diploma and at least two years of good behavior.

In 2017, there were 67 colleges and universities participating in the Second Chance Pell grant programs in over 100 state and federal penal institutions.  One is associated with Bard Prison Initiative and another with Cornell University and Cayuga Community College. One teacher at Auburn Prison in New York, who teaches under the latter program is Alex Chertok. In his interview with a local paper, he said,

“I didn’t know much about the prison population and was just as intimidated as everyone else and wanted to break through that stigma … When I first started teaching, I looked around and I saw a classroom of criminals. As the semester went on the fear was replaced with a kind of admiration for them…
You learn to see the prison students as students as opposed to convicted felons… They’ve done some heavy stuff, but it doesn’t take long before we see them as students and in many ways they are far brighter and more engaged and more inquisitive than any Cornell or Ithaca College student… Teaching in the program presupposes a fundamental belief in forgiveness, second chances and redemption… In general, these inmates come from awful backgrounds. They were the victims of abuse, violence or neglect… Most of them come from upbringings that didn’t give them a fighting chance to be functional or contributing members of society… They were never given an opportunity like this before and everyone deserves an education and a chance to feel fulfilled and self-actualize. In many cases we are the first time these guys get that chance.”

He believes the program benefits the inmates and the instructors.

“Everyone who has gone through the program has called it varying degrees of life-changing. It’s edifying to see how similar these incarcerated guys are to us… That’s the first shock, that they have nightmares and dreams and fears and they are complex people, so that’s the first empowering realization as an instructor…
It’s a beautiful feeling to watch ourselves undergo the process of seeing these guys as humans… It’s empowering to know we are capable of meaningfully interacting with people we were afraid of in the beginning.”

In 2009, Bard College, started the Consortium for the Liberal Arts in Prison.  There are over ten universities involved in the program in the United States. They attempt to make their education program the dominant feature of the inmate’s prison experience from the time they enroll to their release.  Many continue their studies after release. One participant who went through Grinnell University in prison said, “… his entire way of thinking started to change. Part of that came from the diversity of the program’s curriculum and being exposed to perspectives and subjects he’d never considered before. And part came from little moments like the one he shared with professors … It was the way they kept talking to me… [they] basically convinced me that I was smart.” And he convinced himself that he could have a future that didn’t involve prison. He credits his Grinnell education with giving him the tools and patience to overcome the obstacles he faces daily. “The guy that went into prison wouldn’t have had the patience, the perseverance, the grit to get through that…A liberal arts education doesn’t just throw a lot of knowledge at you, it actually teaches you how to seek knowledge and use it to your benefit,” He cites his speech class as an example.  Information from that class came in handy interviewing for jobs, communicating with his parole officer, landlords, and convincing the Department of Human Services of his ability to be a good father. Right after his release, he applied and was accepted to Kirkwood Community College, which accepted his Grinnell transcript.

In 2014, San Quentin set up a program called the last mile.  Millions of dollars were spent by philanthropists to set up a mock internet so participants could learn coding, website development, and other technical skills. There is a focus on entrepreneurial skill development as well. The program is being rolled out to several other California prisons and is anticipated to be made available across the country.  It has expanded to create prison jobs. None of the participants who have been released from prison, only about 20 as of late 2017, have come back to prison. Although a very small number, that is in the context of California’s over 44% recidivism rate.

But most prisons don’t have colleges and universities on the prison grounds. If the prison does not participate in any on site college education courses, there are correspondence courses available. These courses range from programs that address self-defeating behaviors like anger management, interpersonal behavior, and work preparation skills. One interviewee said he took classes with Rio Salado, a community college in Arizona.  There are other accredited colleges and universities that also offer print based courses that can lead to a degree, for example, Adams State University in Colorado offers degree programs. That seems to be one of the most popular ones. Ohio University, and other schools, offer a correctional education program. These courses generally take longer than a traditional on campus class might take. Mail takes time. And, if someone is moved from one prison location to another, there may be breaks in the process. In order to find and sign up for these classes, incarcerated people may need to depend on outside assistance.  It may be difficult to gather the documentation for the school application while in prison. Remember, prisoners have no access to the internet so research on the options may be difficult although the prison library probably has information.

Besides educational and artistic endeavors, prisons provide physical activities to alleviate stress and use time productively. Most prisons have weights available. Working out gives the inmates something to be able to control in a universe where they have so little control.  Making evident progress on building a well-defined, strong body is an opportunity for someone to feel good about an accomplishment. Plus, it never hurts in that situation to present a strong image.

 

CHOW HALL AND COMMISSARY

Today’s blog is from our well known, international blogger, Minette. This is an excerpt from her interview with inmate “Richard.” You’ll find some good insight for families and for those who may be facing time in prison or jail. Enjoy! 

Like other interviewees, Richard considered the chow hall food gross.  The ambiance in the room was nothing to crow about either.  And, you’ll remember, proper protocol was required when you walked around and sat down at your table.  You don’t walk through other group’s areas and you don’t take other people’s food.

Inmates were creative, resourceful chefs. For example, Richard remembered a delicious meal made by another inmate, shared with several people, of tasty Chinese food from pork rinds, white rice, and Kool-Aid packets sold in the commissary.  Sometimes these meals were shared among people of different groups. When they could, they would add vegetables swiped from the kitchen or storerooms.  There was a microwave available in the Yuma prison yard common room. Some prisons allowed electric water heaters in the cells.  I read about one prisoner who heated up his tea by rapidly spinning a covered container very close to the electric light hanging in his cell, I think he also created a small flame from lighting toilet paper with a match.

The highlight of the week, according to Richard, was commissary day. It was like Christmas!  And, he did not have much money to spend there.  But everybody was in a good mood that day.  People think in advance about what they need. Commissaries can provide first aid items, vitamins, clothing and shoes, electronic items including televisions and radios, paper, pens, and stamps, tastier meal items and snacks.  Besides buying things for your own use, you can purchase items that can be used as currency in prison, such as stamps, cans of soup, tuna or mackerel, or bags of noodles.  Prisoners are not supposed to have any cash on their person.  It is all put into their account at the commissary and purchases are made directly from the funds in their account.

It is not like the outside world where you can drop by the grocery store anytime, usually it’s a once a week visit.  So, commissary day was indeed special. But if you couldn’t wait, you would barter for items other prisoners had.   Richard said you could get good deals when someone was about to be released.  If they had a television or other valuable asset, they could either mail it out or sell it.  It was easier to sell, less costly too. People could buy the item for a significantly discounted price.  These transfers had to be approved by the prison authorities or the buyer might not be able to hang on to it for long.  During a cell inspection also known as a cell toss, the buyer could lose the item because it did not have his inmate number on it and he didn’t have the paperwork to show it was an approved transfer.  Or, if the inmate had been written up with enough tickets for infractions of the rules, he could lose privileges, and the television or other nicety of life could be taken away.  Commissary trips was another privilege that could be taken away.  Taking away privileges as punishment for infractions enables the way outnumbered correctional officers to maintain some control over the environment.

A word of advice, for those inmates with ample funds coming from outside prison, it is probably best not to flaunt the money by buying excessively.  Showing that you have plenty of funds could make you a target for extortion.  Others may ask you to pay for protection or strongly encourage you to buy things for them.   Unless, of course, you are the one in power.

Most prisons have maximum limits on the amount that can be spent monthly at the commissary by an individual.  One way of survival for people who did not have money in their account was to coordinate with others who had plenty of money in theirs. Funds were mailed into the accounts of the people who did not have other money and the recipient would go shopping for the flusher individual, a small commission would be left in the account of the prisoner who needed the money. Prisoners are very creative in menu planning and in figuring out how to make an income.

Inmates are creative because they have to be. With lots of time on their hands they think of ways to enhance their situation. 

 

Is Jail Worse Than Prison?

A new post by Minette, a well know blogger who focuses on the problems of incarceration. 

Sometimes jail is worse than prison.  In my interview with Benny who was living in a sober living house in Florida in 2016, he told me when he was transferred to state prison in Illinois after spending 8 months in Cook County Jail 11 years ago, he just laughed when he got to prison because the jail was so terrible and prison was a cakewalk in comparison.  While he was in jail, he believes there were 6 stabbing deaths. He was in his 40s when he went to prison the first time.  He had a felony conviction when he was in his 20s, but only got probation. Twenty years later, when he got in trouble again, he was sent to prison in part because of that earlier felony. In between, he had his own construction business, got married (like many people, more than once), and had kids.  Although he had a 3 year sentence for drunk driving and possession of a gun as a felon, he was only in the state prison for 3 and a half months.  The previous 8 months in jail and credit for good behavior, allowed him to leave on parole quickly.  Several interviewees reported that if you are in for less than a year, there is no effort given to enrolling you in a class for anything or forcing you to work. So he didn’t do much while he was in prison.

Photo by Jimmy Chan on Pexels.com

As an aside, a 60 Minutes segment on television in August, 2017, highlighted Cook County Sheriff, Tom Dart’s efforts to make life behind bars more productive. “Dart says the jail — with a population today of about 7,500 — has become a dumping ground for the poor and mentally ill. For most inmates, Dart says, the biggest problem is they simply don’t have enough money to make bail. As a result, inmates often spend their entire prison term in the Cook County Jail — sometimes more time than their sentence.

Dart has instituted programs to give inmates tangible skills. These programs include culinary skills, photography classes and other programs to help inmates change the way they view the world, and provide them with employment skills. But these improvements came long after Benny left the jail.

Sheriff Tom Dart

As a further aside, in 2018, California changed it’s law to eliminate cash bail so situations like Sheriff Dart referenced don’t happen. Judges can use their discretion about either keeping people incarcerated or allowing them to remain free as they wait for their court date. The freedom minimizes the impact on families and people’s ability to earn a living while they wait for their day in court. Other states, like New Jersey have significantly reduced the use of bail as well. This saves taxpayers significant money as well.

A parole violation put Benny back in prison a year and a half later and he stayed more than a year.  He got sober again, and chaired AA meetings, which he said saved his life.   His worse day in prison was when the medical services unit refused to give him his anxiety medication.  He had been on it for a while, but they thought he might be selling it to other inmates so they stopped giving it to him.  This made him feel like he was going crazy.

Opinions on medical services in prison were mixed. They consistently reported there was a cost of approximately $5 to see the nurse which came out of the prisoner’s commissary account.  Given that prisoners make so little money per hour, $5 is a lot of money! Prisoners who did not have the money are still charged, and eventually either their commissary account will be charged when the balance is substantial enough or they will receive less when they leave prison. There were limitations on the medicine provided for pain relief. It appeared only Tylenol or aspirin were available. This may be policy because so many residents have addictions or to reduce the possibility of the pills being sold among the prisoners.

To avoid prisoners selling their “mind altering” drugs to other inmates, prisons have a pill line. Once they got a prescription for medication, the recipient went to the pill line when they were supposed to take the medication, when they got to the head of the line, they got their pill, a cup of water, and stood in front of a correctional officer; they drank the water, took the pill, and then showed the officer the pill was not in their mouth any more.  If the inmate had a chronic condition that required daily pills that were not “mind altering”, they would be given a longer supply that they could take by themselves, e.g. cholesterol and high blood pressure drugs or diabetes medication.

The Pew Charitable Trust reported in October 2017, that in 2015, the average state spent over $8 billion dollars a year for medical care for their prisoners. By state it ranged from a little over $2000 per inmate in Louisiana to close to $20,000 in California.  The highest costs are related to staff and prescriptions. But states use different measurements as to the cost and quality of the services they provide so it is hard to compare.

There are higher levels of mental health issues, drug addictions, HIV, and Hepatitis C in prison than in the outside world.  Many chronic diseases, like asthma, hypertension and arthritis are also more prevalent in the pressured, very close quartered, prison environment.  Despite the stereotype of buff prisoners, the Pew Report asserted in 2011-2012, almost three quarters of prisoners were significantly overweight, leading to more health issues. And the prison population is aging.  From 1999 to 2015, partly as a result of mandatory life sentences that started in 1994, the number of people age 55 or older in state and federal prisons increased 264 percent, rising to 11% of the population. Medical costs are going to continue to rise.

Given most prisons are in isolated areas, hiring qualified medical staff is likely difficult. Many of the medical services are contracted with outside providers, such as Corizon Healthcare.  Arizona uses Corizon. In 2014 there was a class action law suit settled against the state related to the inadequate health care provided to inmates by Corizon.  Three years later, there are hearings about the state’s inability to carry out improvements promised under the settlement of that lawsuit  and the possibility that there was retaliation against participating inmates.  As of 2018, the case is ongoing. Corizon is a defendant in many lawsuits across the country.  Unfortunately, lawsuits are the only available redress for inmates.  They can’t choose to switch doctors.

Many of Corizon’s contracts with state prison authorities are fee based on average daily population.  Prolonged stays in the hospital take a chunk of their revenue. There have been many lawsuits regarding Corizon delaying or not allowing inmates to go to the hospital, or requiring convicts to leave the hospital before the doctor treating the patient at the hospital considers the inmate ready to be moved.

One interviewee who had been to 11 different prisons in Florida from the time he was 17 to when he was interviewed at age 53, said health services used to be very good, but not anymore.  Interviewees who went to both State and Federal prisons reported the state prisons had lousy medical care but the Federal prison was pretty good. The Federal bureau of prisons health care management guide is available on line.

The interviewees differed on their assessment of the healthcare they received. Some found they got adequate and timely care, but Benny said he broke his foot and they did nothing for over a month. Another ex-offender I interviewed, David said he had an infected tooth and it took a month to get a dentist to treat it.  In most cases, rather than providing extensive dental services, the prison’s solution is to just pull the tooth.

Several women interviewed in Arizona, had various medical procedures shortly after their release because they could not get the services while they were in prison.  One had an operation once she was able to get state Medicaid.  She had an infected ovarian cyst.  Another found she had breast cancer.

Another interviewee who served in both Federal and State prisons indicated there are similarities in the prison world and the outside world.  Sometimes the medical services and the administrative services you get depends on who you know. This woman had a job cleaning the warden’s office and other administrators’ offices when she served 11 years in Federal prison.  Because she was there so long, her relationship with the people who ran the prison was friendly and trustful.  She was treated like a person. When she got breast cancer, she felt she got very good care quickly.  In her subsequent year or so in State prison (she had concurrent sentences with a bit of an overlap with the state), she didn’t need any health care, but could see it was not as good as the Federal program.

One person indicated that if the prison was prodded by family outside the prison to get their loved one some medical attention, the process seemed to be expedited.   This comment is supported by a website I found called inmateaid.com.  There are questions and answers there about many aspects of prison life.  In regard to the question of medical services, it indicated that if someone from the outside requests medical or other help they should be humble in their approach rather than adopting a demanding tone.  You can identify the case manager and start with that person.  If that doesn’t work, try the chaplain, then assistant warden. As the prison residents are well aware, prison management doesn’t take kindly to being bullied, they are used to being in charge.  So, treat with respect and deference.

 

The Last Taboo

I’m Happy to announce my guest blogger, Minette, renowned blogger on social and prison issues. I’ll be posting a series of her informational blogs during the next month, so keep a watch out for them. I’m sure you will find them interesting and full of valuable tips and interesting personal experiences. This first one reflects on how we often fear telling people when we have a child or relative in prison.

The Last Taboo
There are no carefully guarded family secrets anymore, no skeletons in the closet waiting to be exposed, no deep dark secrets taken to the grave. Now, everyone shares everything. All the filters, gone. Five years ago I don’t think anyone would openly admit there was alcoholism or drug addiction in their family. Not anymore. It’s all changed. Now you can read about it all on Facebook or on someone’s personal blog. But, maybe there is one exception. One shame that lurks behind eyes that have cried all night, alone.
Earlier this year while on vacation in Costa Rica, I waded into the water of the pristine, clear, warm Pacific Ocean, surrounded by craggily rock formations on either side of a wide open, beautiful sandy, hardly occupied beach. I was standing in the surf near a fellow traveler I met a few days ago on the tour bus. After rushing around seeing rain forests, volcanos, and coffee bean plantations, this was the beginning of our two day total relaxation time. A wave engulfed us, she was pushed down by its force, then she popped back up, catching her breath. She laughed and told me, almost a complete stranger, she had a parent who was an alcoholic. OK, good to know, I guess.
Most people would think that’s a weird reaction to getting tossed about by a wave. But unfortunately, I could see the relevance. She felt unbalanced as the wave hit and then the sand was pulled out from under her feet as the water receded. A metaphor for how she felt when she lived with her problematic relative. I found that I could share with that wave impacted vacationer that I too had the gut wrenching experience of a relative who was an addict, providing a small bonding experience as we continued to go back to jumping the waves, and then ultimately back on the tour bus. But there was still one thing, one horrible thing left unsaid. I could not bring myself to tell her, but now I’ll tell the whole world, maybe I can start a trend that may change things. That addict was my child and he ended up in prison. I’m telling the world because enough time has passed and I can deal with it now. But I remember the pain, the confusion, the lack of understanding I felt about it happening to my family and the lack of believing that it was actually happening at all even as it was going on. I did pinch myself, but it didn’t help. It was like being in a small boat in a gushing river with broken oars. The river current carried us along, and as much as we tried to stop it, the impending boat wreck stared us in the face and we could not avoid it. We tried everything we could think of, spent tons of money, believed in what we thought was the system, and still we had to live in the middle of the rubble and remains as if nothing had happened. We had to go on living, like nothing unusual had happened. There was no other choice.
But when I was in Costa Rica, I just could not tell a stranger. I could not make the words come out of my mouth. They were stuck in my throat. I knew she wanted more. She was waiting for something more, something to continue the conversation, but I could not say it. The last taboo seems to be prison.
More importantly, I could not tell my parents, in-laws, brother or sister, or anyone in the family. It would be too sad and hurtful for them, how could that happen to the sweet little boy they once knew. He was a nice, bright, fun kid. He was clever, lots of smiles and laughter. He was charming with plenty of friends. He loved riding his bike, fishing in a lake, exploring everywhere and everything. As he got older, I thought he had street smarts, but sometimes he displayed anxiousness if he wasn’t sure about a situation. On the other hand, he had the steadiest hands I had ever seen and a right to the point focus.
There were times when he was little and we would be standing on the edge of a lake. He would see a fish nearby, and he would wade into the water, and catch the fish with his hands. He’d hold it up for the family to see wearing a big grin on his face. He was quick and steady. One time we were browsing stores at an airport and a souvenir store had a sign, IF YOU CAN SOLVE THIS PUZZLE, IT’S YOURS FOR FREE. It was one of those little wooden boxes you had to get small metal balls into the right sections or holes. I worked on one, his friend worked on one, and he worked on one. And, one, two, three, he did it. They gave it to him for free. Then he did another one, his friend and I were getting nowhere with the ones we had. I was too embarrassed to take a second one for free. He just had a knack of that sort of thing.
Another time we were going to a Mets game. We were meeting a friend who had the tickets in the parking lot. My friend was a few minutes late, he was panicked that they wouldn’t show and then what would we do! I was surprised by his over reaction, but then my friend came and he was fine and had a good time.
He was not brought up in a slum, he did not live with family who abused him, or an environment full of drugs. He had a perfectly fine upbringing with lots of opportunities. But still it happened. People I asked for advice after the fact, shrugged their shoulders because they thought it was so unusual for a kid like mine to be in that position. It was not a problem that fit in their world.
Had I told my family that my son was an addict, he committed a crime, was convicted of a felony, and ultimately went to prison, yes, it would have been heartbreaking for them. That is true, but probably the greater truth is that it was too shameful for me. Never in a million years would I have thought this would happen to us, not the addiction, not the prison, and not everything in between. Such an incredible, overwhelming, embarrassment for us. And, it is something that we’ll have to live with for the rest of our lives. They used to scare me with getting a B on my report card, it will go on your permanent record! That didn’t, and it wasn’t so terrible either, but this does, and it can make life a whole lot more difficult. This sure didn’t happen only to my son either, although he’s the one who will bear the brunt of it for the rest of his life. This affected me, my husband, and his sister, and even though I did not tell them, the rest of my family.
First Blog Post July 18, 2018