SUICIDE AFTER RELEASE

My son has been out of prison now for almost two years. Gee, time has passed quickly for me, but has it for him? I’d like to think so, but I know that is not true. Some of his days and nights, particularly in the beginning just after release, were long. He was not able to sleep, was afraid and anxious most of the time, had a hard time getting used to the outside and in general was up and down depending on the day.

In the first few weeks, it was like he was waiting for them to come and take him back. The only thing that made it easier was that he was across the country from his last incarceration in Florida. Now things are a lot better and I think most of the fear and anxiety are gone. He seems to be a lot more settled and knows he won’t be returning to prison.

According to a recent article in Prison Policy Initiative:

“Reentry is tumultuous and challenging to begin with, and the first two weeks after release are among the most difficult. Previous research has shown that, within those first two weeks, the risk of death from drug overdose, cardiovascular disease, homicide, and suicide is elevated. A 2007 study found that the risk of death in these first two weeks can be up to 12 times higher than that of the general population. Building on that study’s findings, this new North Carolina study finds that the experience of any solitary confinement more than doubles the risk of death for people recently released from prison.

The study identifies two additional factors correlated with a heightened risk of death after release: race and the amount(length and frequency) of solitary confinement. All incarcerated people of color are more likely to die within a year of release, and the experience of solitary confinement only amplifies this racial disparity.”

For families of those just released, please know it is not an easy time for your loved one, and as much as you think he or she should be ecstatic with being home, they may not be. Look for signs of depression, suicidal inclination, drug use or anxiety. Recognize it and help them get through it.

IT WILL BE ALRIGHT

This is the last post by our guest blogger, Minette, who we have truly loved having. Her son did extremely well after his release, got a job and went on with life. This is a wonderful story of a trip she and her son took rafting down the Colorado River. Enjoy! 

My friend had always told me “It will be alright.” And… It was. Several months after my son got settled, I asked him to join his old, but in shape from all that running I did to stay sane, mother on a rafting adventure down the Colorado River.  I arranged a trip that stayed in the state of Arizona, a requirement for his parole. The trip was for five days, including a weekend. He didn’t have to take off too much time from work. The end of the trip was an uphill, nine mile plus hike on the Bright Angel trail from Phantom Ranch. This would be like the high adrenaline escapades he had with that group of friends he stayed with to avoid drugs when he was a teenager.  There probably weren’t many trips he would like to take with his mother, but he was happy to accompany me on this one.  I told him it was his job to make sure I was alright, just in case I had a problem. I made every effort not to have a problem. For over three months, I prepared by climbing uphill on treadmills in the gym and on every uphill location I could think of in town. I asked him if he was preparing, because it truly is considered a challenging hike with lots of 15-degree inclines.  They say in the trip description, it is supposed to take between six and nine hours to complete that last hike of the trip. This was formidable, no fooling around! He said he really didn’t need to do anything, he thought he was in shape.  But the truth came out shortly before the trip,  he was hiking uphill for several weeks with one of his housemates.  It’s true, you don’t need to do as much to get in shape at twenty-eight as you do at sixty-five, but it is wise to do something. And he did. He also prepared with all the stuff the concessionaire suggested we take for the trip. I prepared by buying a rain suit that I will definitely never need again, a hiking shirt and pair of pants made of magical material, so it breathes all by itself to keep you cool if you’re hot or hot if it’s cool.

Finally, the time for our trip arrived. We drove up to Flagstaff in his truck, stayed overnight there for orientation with the group and then headed to Lee’s Ferry in the morning in the group’s van.  There the group of 24 people took off in two rafts along with five boatmen. I do believe I was the oldest person there, but not by much.  There were several pretty, young ladies who were with their friends and then other young ladies and young men with their parents. There were couples in their fifties there as well. Some people were going the full length of the Canyon and some were doing half the canyon as we were.  Off we went.  I thought he would like to be on a separate raft from me.  How many single young men want to be with their mothers?  I was fine with separate rafts. Later we would be sharing the same tent anyway. But after our first landing and hike into a side canyon, I found he actually wanted to be in the same raft with me. That was fine with me too.

While the morning was nice, that first afternoon it rained while we were on the river.  It was fun bouncing like beach balls on the edge of the raft as we went over some rapids, but the weather was not cooperating, it was cold.  Luckily, we both had our rainwear to keep us cozy and dry.  When we landed in the early evening, he was our lead on setting up the tent.  He was a little like his father that he wanted things done his way. Then we joined the others for a delicious dinner prepared by our guides.  I convinced him to sit out and look at the stars for a while as most of our companions turned in for the night.  I love looking at the stars. When we finally went to bed, we walked back to the tent in the dark, but there was no tent. It was pitch black, but we searched the area with our tiny phone lights and could find nothing. We had weighted it down with clothes, but apparently not enough.  I went down to the raft crew, carefully watching my step under the illumination of my flashlight and woke them up.  The lead guy delegated the problem to one of the sleepy crewmen. He got his shoes and a bigger flash light, went back to where my son was and where the tent was supposed to be. After a few minutes of further searching, we found the tent blown away about fifty feet down a hill.  Our clothes were found attached to the branches of several nearby bushes. We gathered it all up and reset it down at its original location and went to bed.  We were not experienced campers, but we were learning.  I could see the stars through the top of the tent. I stared up at them until I fell asleep.

The next day the weather was better. The sun was shining, the canyon walls were beautiful with a variety of colors and formations.  We took a hike deep into a canyon full of sedimentary rock, and we had to angle this way and that to avoid tripping and falling. I don’t know about everybody else, but I was focused on not getting hurt, so I could make that hike up the canyon at the end of our trip.  I did not want to be the one to call a helicopter to get me out of there. After a mile or so of carefully watching my footing, we reached a lovely waterfall. We each took turns standing under it to enjoy the cool water after our exertions on the trail.  Everyone snapped a picture.  We hung out there for a while, thrilled by the thought we were deep in the canyon. Only a few people have the opportunity to get here. On our journey back to the rafts, we saw a few deer.  Back on the rafts, we splashed through more rapids, laughing as some of us, depending on where we sat, got soaked and others were completely dry.  I enjoyed getting wet.  My son preferred to stay out of the water. The dry ones would take pictures as the waves of water rose up to almost drown the others. But that was part of the fun.   Between the challenging rapids, we would admire the beautiful red, orange, brown canyon hues, chat among ourselves and listen to the guide describe the canyon and the stories of the people who explored it. We stopped at an enormous cavern that probably gave shelter to sojourners centuries ago, and then a few hours later stopped for another hike.  This time, I decided to stay by the rafts, and let the others walk on.  I can hike at home but sitting alone by an eternally rushing river for a while held more enchantment for me. It was beautiful and special. A memory I’ll cherish.

We went a little further down the river and started to unload our packs for the evening.  My son was taking the heavier loads, so he was a little behind me.  I was chatting with a fellow traveler about how nice the day was, and he commented to me that he had spoken with my son for a while on the raft and on the hike I missed.  He said my son was a real nice young man.  He had no idea how much and for how long I had hoped to hear words like those.  I hadn’t realized it either until he said them.  But that was exactly what I wanted and needed to hear, and it was the truth.   He is a nice young man, we have turned a page, heck, we have almost closed a book.   I am grateful for that.

That should be the end of this story, because that is the most important part of it. But I can’t finish until I let you know, about our trip up and out of the canyon.

That night, my son and I watched the stars again, and we saw several satellites. We were sure we saw an UFO, too.  It came out of nowhere, made the strangest acute angle turn and flew away.  The next day, the guides said they believe they have often seen UFOs on their many journeys down the river.

We took off for Phantom Ranch.  Staying overnight at this iconic location was a bucket list item for me. The area is lovely there, an oasis, with several different trails running nearby. The cabins are functional. We had two rooms with a bathroom.  We bunked with people who had been on our trip.  The front room had six beds and the back room had four. All of us shared the bathroom. After leaving our stuff in the room, I took an easy hike on a trail adjacent to the main building at the ranch.  My son went with some of the other kids to a high bridge we passed on the river. Dinner was served in the main building.  It was a delicious beef stew.  All the food served was either grown there or brought in by mules.  These same mules went back up the canyon with bags visitors to the Ranch needed hauled up.  We set our bags, except for our backpacks filled with what we needed for our hike back, out after dinner.

Phantom Ranch is a universe all to itself. You would think it would be a great place to watch the stars again, but the canyon is so narrow there that the steep canyon walls cut off the sky.  You can only gaze at a very narrow band of the heavens filled with stars.

The next morning, we gathered to start our hike up. As one should, I decided to use the modern-day conveniences available at the ranch, aka, the toilet, before scaling the canyon with its limited facilities. The others started to take off.  Wouldn’t you know it, these miracle pants I bought come with a unique snap to close the pants.  For the life of me, I could not make that snap work when I got out of the bathroom.  I was standing there for a full ten minutes playing with it, feeling like a fool.  The tour provided a guide up the trail who was supposed to stay with the laggards.  That was me and my son because he did not abandon me as I struggled with this stupid snap.  Eventually, the guide who was a female, a pretty one at that, offered to help me.  I felt like a five-year-old starting kindergarten. She got it closed immediately. We started up the hike, way behind the others. My son held up his end of the bargain, he did not leave my side. He made sure I was fine. Eventually the others stopped at a resting point and we caught up. We stayed there for quite a while, not wanting to leave before our guide said we should go. Once she did, my son and I moved ahead and stayed ahead.  All that preparation paid off.  There was no problem moving up that mountain. With just a couple of miles to go, I could see I would not have a problem.  I told my son he could go ahead. He moved quickly up the mountain at his own pace.  He beat me up to the top by a good half hour, but I was no slouch either.  I beat the other adults in the group by over an hour. They found us at the top, at the Grand Canyon Lodge having a well-deserved cold one.  It was not an easy climb, but we made it from the bottom to the top on this trip and, in at least for now, in this life.  For that, I am grateful and I am grateful for this wonderful trip with my son.

 

Getting Out of Prison

Freedom! One would think that getting out of prison would be something inmates look forward to with joy and anticipation. Well, the anticipation part might be right, but it’s not always looked forward to with joy. Sure they’re happy to get out, but if they’ve been in for any amount of time, there are uncertainties and fears they may be facing.

Photo by Ali Naderi on Pexels.com

Where will I live? How can I get a job with a record? What will my family think of me? Who will trust me? Will my spouse / girlfriend / boyfriend still be waiting for me? Will my children know who I am? Can I stay sober? Can I change my life? Will anyone be there to support me? Who will pick me up when I get out? Sometimes, there are no answers for these questions. They have to be worked out one day and one problem at a time. If they’re lucky, they will already have some of the answers. Someone will be there to pick them up and help them find a place to live and a job. But, some inmates have no one left to help them. They end up in a shelter or on the streets… lost and alone. That’s why Hope for Prisoners in Las Vegas and other organizations like them are out there to help. Hopefully the inmate’s case worker or parole officer has hooked them up with an organization that can provide the help they need.

Unfortunately, housing and jobs are the hardest problems to solve. Most rentals do not take anyone with a criminal record, and most employers will not hire anyone with a record. It’s a maze to be navigated. There are a few organizations that will hire ex-offenders. State agencies like Nevada Workforce or temp agencies may be able to find work for them. Some companies will hire if you tell them up front you have a record, but you’re a changed person. At Hope for Prisoners they help ex-offenders find jobs and have lots of contacts to work with.

Housing can be the hardest. There are halfway houses and sober living houses, but they can be difficult to get into. One solution may be to find a private person with a rental. They might take someone with a record if you tell them the truth. Of course family is the best answer, but that might not be an option if you have burned your bridges or there just isn’t room.

So, if you have a loved one coming out, give them all the support and love you can. Be patient. They have fears they may not be able to express to you. Understand that for some this is a brand new world of computers, smart phones, smart TV’s and a changed landscape from when they were last on the outside. They won’t know how to fill out an application on line or order from a fast food kiosk. They may not even know how to use a computer.

You may have fears too. Will they be able to keep from going back is probably the biggest one. You’ll need to have faith that they can function and stay out. Give them support and believe they can succeed and their chances of succeeding will be greater. Mostly, let them know you love and support them.

I’ll end here by saying my son gets out in less than a month, after over thirteen years in a federal prison, and both of us have all the fears and trepidation I’ve described above. We will be facing all the obstacles others have faced. However, I have faith he is a changed person and will be successful in living a life that will be happy and prison free. That’s the one thing we both pray for.

I’ll be keeping you posted on how he is doing. Keep your fingers crossed!

 

The Last Taboo

I’m Happy to announce my guest blogger, Minette, renowned blogger on social and prison issues. I’ll be posting a series of her informational blogs during the next month, so keep a watch out for them. I’m sure you will find them interesting and full of valuable tips and interesting personal experiences. This first one reflects on how we often fear telling people when we have a child or relative in prison.

The Last Taboo
There are no carefully guarded family secrets anymore, no skeletons in the closet waiting to be exposed, no deep dark secrets taken to the grave. Now, everyone shares everything. All the filters, gone. Five years ago I don’t think anyone would openly admit there was alcoholism or drug addiction in their family. Not anymore. It’s all changed. Now you can read about it all on Facebook or on someone’s personal blog. But, maybe there is one exception. One shame that lurks behind eyes that have cried all night, alone.
Earlier this year while on vacation in Costa Rica, I waded into the water of the pristine, clear, warm Pacific Ocean, surrounded by craggily rock formations on either side of a wide open, beautiful sandy, hardly occupied beach. I was standing in the surf near a fellow traveler I met a few days ago on the tour bus. After rushing around seeing rain forests, volcanos, and coffee bean plantations, this was the beginning of our two day total relaxation time. A wave engulfed us, she was pushed down by its force, then she popped back up, catching her breath. She laughed and told me, almost a complete stranger, she had a parent who was an alcoholic. OK, good to know, I guess.
Most people would think that’s a weird reaction to getting tossed about by a wave. But unfortunately, I could see the relevance. She felt unbalanced as the wave hit and then the sand was pulled out from under her feet as the water receded. A metaphor for how she felt when she lived with her problematic relative. I found that I could share with that wave impacted vacationer that I too had the gut wrenching experience of a relative who was an addict, providing a small bonding experience as we continued to go back to jumping the waves, and then ultimately back on the tour bus. But there was still one thing, one horrible thing left unsaid. I could not bring myself to tell her, but now I’ll tell the whole world, maybe I can start a trend that may change things. That addict was my child and he ended up in prison. I’m telling the world because enough time has passed and I can deal with it now. But I remember the pain, the confusion, the lack of understanding I felt about it happening to my family and the lack of believing that it was actually happening at all even as it was going on. I did pinch myself, but it didn’t help. It was like being in a small boat in a gushing river with broken oars. The river current carried us along, and as much as we tried to stop it, the impending boat wreck stared us in the face and we could not avoid it. We tried everything we could think of, spent tons of money, believed in what we thought was the system, and still we had to live in the middle of the rubble and remains as if nothing had happened. We had to go on living, like nothing unusual had happened. There was no other choice.
But when I was in Costa Rica, I just could not tell a stranger. I could not make the words come out of my mouth. They were stuck in my throat. I knew she wanted more. She was waiting for something more, something to continue the conversation, but I could not say it. The last taboo seems to be prison.
More importantly, I could not tell my parents, in-laws, brother or sister, or anyone in the family. It would be too sad and hurtful for them, how could that happen to the sweet little boy they once knew. He was a nice, bright, fun kid. He was clever, lots of smiles and laughter. He was charming with plenty of friends. He loved riding his bike, fishing in a lake, exploring everywhere and everything. As he got older, I thought he had street smarts, but sometimes he displayed anxiousness if he wasn’t sure about a situation. On the other hand, he had the steadiest hands I had ever seen and a right to the point focus.
There were times when he was little and we would be standing on the edge of a lake. He would see a fish nearby, and he would wade into the water, and catch the fish with his hands. He’d hold it up for the family to see wearing a big grin on his face. He was quick and steady. One time we were browsing stores at an airport and a souvenir store had a sign, IF YOU CAN SOLVE THIS PUZZLE, IT’S YOURS FOR FREE. It was one of those little wooden boxes you had to get small metal balls into the right sections or holes. I worked on one, his friend worked on one, and he worked on one. And, one, two, three, he did it. They gave it to him for free. Then he did another one, his friend and I were getting nowhere with the ones we had. I was too embarrassed to take a second one for free. He just had a knack of that sort of thing.
Another time we were going to a Mets game. We were meeting a friend who had the tickets in the parking lot. My friend was a few minutes late, he was panicked that they wouldn’t show and then what would we do! I was surprised by his over reaction, but then my friend came and he was fine and had a good time.
He was not brought up in a slum, he did not live with family who abused him, or an environment full of drugs. He had a perfectly fine upbringing with lots of opportunities. But still it happened. People I asked for advice after the fact, shrugged their shoulders because they thought it was so unusual for a kid like mine to be in that position. It was not a problem that fit in their world.
Had I told my family that my son was an addict, he committed a crime, was convicted of a felony, and ultimately went to prison, yes, it would have been heartbreaking for them. That is true, but probably the greater truth is that it was too shameful for me. Never in a million years would I have thought this would happen to us, not the addiction, not the prison, and not everything in between. Such an incredible, overwhelming, embarrassment for us. And, it is something that we’ll have to live with for the rest of our lives. They used to scare me with getting a B on my report card, it will go on your permanent record! That didn’t, and it wasn’t so terrible either, but this does, and it can make life a whole lot more difficult. This sure didn’t happen only to my son either, although he’s the one who will bear the brunt of it for the rest of his life. This affected me, my husband, and his sister, and even though I did not tell them, the rest of my family.
First Blog Post July 18, 2018

Counting the Days

My son will finally be coming home in January 2019 from Coleman USP in Florida. By then, he will have spent about fourteen and a half years in the federal prison system. That’s a long time. He’s not a young man anymore.

When he gets out, he’ll be entering the Hope for Prisoners program here in Las Vegas. I can tell you that both of us are excited and a little afraid. He’s afraid he won’t be able to function in society and may fail. I have some fears also. I’m afraid I may fail in my interactions with him.

But, with Hope for Prisoners’ support and mine, he can put his fears behind him. He will have all the opportunities and tools he needs to succeed. I know he can do it and will use the rest of his life to better himself and others.

Not sure what the first thing we will do before flying back to Las Vegas, but I suspect it will be a trip to McDonald’s for a Big Mac and to a clothing store. He does not even know what size clothes he wears now. When ex-offenders got out of prison, they usually leave with just the clothes on their backs and whatever legal files or books they have. Some walk out with nothing.

We’re so fortunate to have the Hope for Prisoners program, Jon Ponder, and his staff behind us. They are an amazing reentry program with a track record of keeping 94% of their graduates from returning to prison. They give people like my son and myself real hope for success.

Texas Bans Inmates From Social Media

Re-blogged from Fusion: Written by Casey Tolan. This practice violates the basic right of free speech and the ability of inmates to stay connected to society. It perpetuates “warehousing” of inmates rather than rehabilitating them.

Texas is banning inmates from having any kind of social media accounts—including accounts run in their name by friends or family members.

A new rule prohibiting all inmates from “maintaining active social media accounts for the purposes of soliciting, updating, or engaging others” was included in the latest version of the Texas Department of Criminal Justice’s offender handbook, which was updated April 1.

Texas officials say the new measure is necessary because some inmates misuse social media. “Offenders have used social media accounts to sell items over the internet based on the notoriety of their crime, harass victims or victim’s families, and continue their criminal activity,” spokesperson Jason Clark said in an email. “The agency will take all of the necessary steps to prevent that from happening.”

Clark said that the department will reach out to social media companies to ask that accounts in inmates’ names be taken down, and that the new rule will strengthen their ability to do so. Inmates who are found to have social media accounts would be punished with a level three disciplinary violation, the lowest level violation in the system.

For many inmates, social media pages can be lifelines to the outside world. Prisoners write posts, send them to a friend or family member through snail mail, and ask the friend post them on Facebook. (Texas inmates have no internet access.) Some pages are diaries about their days behind bars, others serialize autobiographies, and others write poetry or fiction.

“These pages are beyond important because this is how the average joe finds out about the humanity of the people on death row,” said Pat Hartwell, an anti-death penalty activist in Houston who updates a Facebook page for death row inmate Charles Flores.

Hartwell said that death row inmates were told that the new policy will start being enforced tomorrow. She took down Flores’ page yesterday to avoid getting him in trouble, and several other family members and activists also posted on Facebook that they were taking down pages for inmates.

The rule could run up against First Amendment issues. Dave Maass, a researcher with the Electronic Frontier Foundation who has studied inmate social media regulations, said he thought the rule was unconstitutionally broad.

“This policy violates the free speech rights of both the inmates and the family members and friends of inmates,” Maass said. “I don’t think it’s appropriate for a prison to tell someone on the outside what they can and can’t post when it doesn’t involve criminal activity.”

A Facebook spokesperson declined to comment on the rule.

Texas isn’t the first state to punish inmates for using social media. In South Carolina, inmates who are caught using Facebook are punished with solitary confinement. In Maine, inmates aren’t allowed to publish a blog or any other kind of writing online.

 

THANK YOU POPE FRANCIS

Pope Francis has just left our country, and while he was here he was an inspiration to many including those incarcerated.  He even visited a prison and blessed those inmates present.  In his view all life is valuable.

Today Kelly Gissendaner is scheduled to be executed at 7 PM.  Pope Francis sent a plea for repeal of the death penalty, but the Georgia Parole Board gave the green light to the execution in spite of his letter.  Yes, what she did was atrocious, but she has been in prison since 1997 for her part n the murder of her husband, by her lover.  Her lover, by he way, is serving a life sentence without parole.  Should she not receive the same?

I am against the death penalty and believe that justice is better served with mercy.  She should not be let go, but sentenced to serve the rest of her life in prison.  If we kill humans, then who are we in the eyes of humanity?

She has been a model citizen while serving her time and has been an inspiration for other prisoners.  Literally hundreds of clergy have asked for clemency for her.  She will be the first woman put to death in 70 years.  Who will her death serve?  What purpose will it serve?  It will not deter others and it does not serve humanity.  How will it affect her three children?

I can only hope that there will be a last minute judgement to stay her execution.  If not, I pray for her soul.

Lost his Privileges

My son has a need to do other people favors.  So…he loaned his phone card number to someone else.  Now they have taken away his phone and email privileges for a month.  A little harsh punishment I would say.  It does not help to isolate you from your family.  I guess he won’t be doing the favor again though. He knew he was taking a chance and it did not pay off.

I just received a snail mail letter from him with his last few certificates from classes he has taken.  I also received a sample of his writing for his creative writing class.  Pretty good.  Actually quite good in concept, he is just missing the basics of punctuation and sentence structure.  Hopefully, he will learn that in the next class he takes.

Beyond Bars: Rejoining Society After Prison by Jeffrey Ian Ross and Stephen C. Richards

I have just finished reading “Beyond Bars: Rejoining Society After Prison”, a sort of “what to do after prison for dummies”.  It is a step by step description of what to expect when you get released, and how to survive on the outside.  It is co-authored by two professors, Jeffrey Ian Ross and Stephen C. Richards.  Mr. Richards served nine years in prison after being convicted of conspiracy to distribute marijuana.  He was in nine different federal prisons. He is now a professor of criminal justice.  Mr. Ross is a professor in the School of Criminal Justice, College of Public Affairs, and a Research Fellow of the Center for International and Comparative Law.

This book details the trials and tribulations of Joe and Jill Inmate after their release from prison.  Their fictional stories are a conglomerate of different experiences inmates encounter.  Few know before hand that their dreams of a perfect life on the outside is not how real life is.

Real life always presents problems, and it presents even more if you have FELON tattooed on your resume.  This book has real life solutions for the inmates who are getting out, and the families and loved ones of those inmates.  Life has changed while the inmate serves his or her time. Lots of things change in relationships, technology and general life while they are incarcerated, particularly if they are in for a long time.   People move on and may have found other relationships, or perhaps the inmate’s family does not trust that they can make a decent life. Maybe their children have grown to dislike them. These are just a few of the problems they may encounter.  Add to that, the fact that they may not have a place to live or any money to survive on, and the problems they may encounter increase.

This book has suggestions and solutions for the problems.  It describes the different types of halfway houses and the problems inherent with each of the different types.   It even suggests the released felon not get a vehicle, as police run plates all the time, and driving a car could lead to problems. It talks about how to get a job, how to create a resume and how to dress for an interview.  There are many other suggestions and solutions for how to act and survive without going back to prison.

If your loved one is close to release, I suggest you get this book for them.  Sure, they may know some of what is talked about or even most of it, but they will find a confirmation of what to expect and solutions for problems.  It is an excellent reminder that they need to prepare for life on the outside, not just get out and fall into their old routines, which will get them back in prison very quickly.

Listen up…your loved one can make a decent life out there.  It can happen, but it takes work, diligence and the ability to keep a peaceful mind in the face of adversity.

Holidays are Coming

The holidays are almost upon us.  Not only are the holidays important because they bring us closer to family and we make and share great memories, but also because for our incarcerated loved ones it is a difficult time. I imagine there are more lockups during Thanksgiving and Christmas than any other time of the year.  The quote below was taken from Unprison Posted on January 5, 2012 by Bruce Reilly

“The free world can be puzzled by former prisoners who are emotionally conflicted when holidays come along.  What they need to understand is that holidays in prison are typically spent on lockdown.  Tempers get shorter.  Depressions grow deeper.  While prisons cut back on staff and pay triple-time to the guards who show up.  Some prisons let people out for a 10 minute phone call, and that is the limit of getting out of one’s cell; and if nobody to call, it is all day in the cage.”

So, if you can visit or at least send letters, emails and commissary money, it helps your loved ones cope during the holidays.  I have already received a request from my son to help him out for Christmas. He knows I will, but I can see his anxiety about the holidays is mounting already.  It has every year for him.  That is part of what makes understanding why he is in prison so hard.  Why can’t he learn life is valuable and it is just criminal to spend it locked up?

The one thing you do need to do is to check to make sure the facility you want to visit is not on lockdown. You can check this by calling the main number for the facility or checking the prison website.  Sometimes, one of the prison blogs will mention a lockdown too.  On October 20, 2014 all New Mexico Prisons were ordered on lockdown for a safety prison search.  There was no date stated for it to end.  Hopefully, it has ended by this writing.  On Illinois PrisonTalk, they state both Hill and Menard Prisons are currently on lockdown.  You need to call to check when visiting will be reinstated.

Don’t forget your loved ones this Thanksgiving, Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanzaa, and New Years. And don’t forget all the children and families of those in prison who are not able to visit or spend time with their loved ones during the holidays.  If you know someone like this, please send then a kind word.